Why create a blog? I've tried it before and it didn't really work. Oh the site was fine, I just didn't post much. I think part of the reason is that I feel like I'm coming to a crossroad in my life. I'm 36, and have hit that age where, well, I never remember thinking I knew everything, but at least I thought I knew something. I think a big part of this feeling is Tryn. She is 16 now, and in a few short years she will be an "adult" I keep on keeping trying to make sure she knows what she needs to know about life, but at the same time I know a big part of what I need to do now is let her take those short experimental flights, and not try and catch her when she fall unless there is trauma involved. She needs to be able to make mistakes and correct them and learn to recognized them to avoid them again. Oh, Mom is still the safety net, but for now the net is a bit further away, because the "real world" has no safety net.
Walking that fine line, helping but pulling back has me thinking about where my life will be when she flys the nest. I've seen parents who can't seem to let go enough and are still trying to run their kids lives, its like they just moved their kids bedrooms to an apartment. That is so not healthy. The last 16 years have been wrapped up in Tryn and guiding her toward being a healthy adult, and now that we are getting close, I feel like I wonder -did I remember me too? Pretty soon it will be time for me again and while I've been going back to school- and doing stuff like that, suddenly my life will be much more about me. Because to me, the rules change when the kid turns 18, even if they are living at home. call me if you aren't coming home, you are still responsible for not destroying the house. But no more I need to know where you are every minute stuff.
Am I ready? Is she ready? We'll find out. So why blog? To keep people who care or don't care caught up, and to have a way to sort out some of this in my head - without looking crazy.
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