Christmas!

We had a wonderful Christmas at home. Christmas traditions are interesting and when you add a new family member you learn to incorporate their traditions too. The tradition in our family has always been that you can wake up the parents as early as 6, we can stare at the tree and open our stocking then we have "breakfast" (cinnamon rolls and OJ/coffee) and Dad hands out all the presents. In Aaron's family the kids are allowed to open their stockings any time after they wake up - and for kids who can't sleep that may mean as soon as they see the lights in the house go out. Then they can go wake up Mom and Dad when they are ready -because they aren't allowed to open the rest of the presents.

So how did this blend? I finally fell asleep around 3:00, after getting stuff wrapped, not long after 3:30, Aaron scares the crap out of me because I had fallen asleep with the lap top and he didn't want me to knock it off on the floor.

So now I'm up and awake with an adrenaline rush. So I'm awake. Now, please remember - Aaron had told us about his family traditions, I just hadn't really realized how this would work. He opened his stocking at 3:30 am, the dividing line is opening presents so he didn't open the presents that were in the stocking. Since I was wide awake, he decided to go get cigarettes and energy drinks and see if Tryn wanted to wake up. We opened presents at 4am. I made cinnamon rolls and once the hide/seek clue to Aaron's new sword was off of the coffee pot, I made coffee.

Everyone was thrilled with their gifts. Bouncing off the walls :)

And after awhile - I went back to bed for a few hours. All in all the traditions blended pretty well.

Pictures are still in the Camera...adding those soon.

Additional Link

If the video screen is too small to watch our slideshow- check this link out:

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=8719597844020985346

Thoughts on Decorating

Lets face it, I love decorating for Christmas, its one of my favorite times of year. I love everything about Christmas. So why do I always feel like I'm failing in the decorating department? I look at "everyone else's" house and see their amazing lights, and outside decorations. I want to do that but I can't. One day I will, but part of me feels like I should NOW. *sigh* that kind of thinking and not resisting it is what has this country in the economic mess and this time of year is the worst for it. We want to show family and friends how much they mean to us and we really tend to do it by buying things. We would all be better off baking cookies or bread, or maybe helping out with chores or making a special dinner and sending cards for most of our shopping list. We really would.

Our Year 2008

Everyone we have reached the middle of December and I'm managing to get our annual update out before the new year...hooray for small victorys.



We wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy and Safe New Year!



Rae Ann

Utter Failure

I wanted to have an adult discussion. I attempted to have an adult discussion. My daughter became so defensive and .... um searching for the right word here... well, I guess defensive covers most of the bases, that it became impossible. Because I was trying a different method and had to keep reminding her that I wasn't shouting or yelling at her the talk got no where except for me truly pissed off. Why? Because I think Tryn is capable of being talked to as an adult on this subject and her defensiveness and inability tonight to hold an adult conversation hit about every button that I had. Hate it when that happens - I really do. Was this my failure or hers or both. Maybe in this case I switched speeds too fast? However she always complains that I treat Aaron different than her - I treat Aaron as an adult, a young adult but an adult. Even when we are pissed at each other we can hold a conversation. I think Tryn should be capable of that and it makes me feel like I failed somewhere that at almost 17 we can't do that. Gonna try again tomorrow.

Re-evaluations

It is so hard to let our kids fail. I know the best lessons are sometimes learned this way - but it is still hard.

I could scream - I could shout, I could ground and lecture. Am I going to? No. Do you know why? She is 16 - she will be 17 in 4 months. She has been going to school since the age of 5. In 12 years she knows how to turn in homework, she knows she needs to do assignments. She is failing history and math. We are going to sit down and move to the next phase - educated planning. Demonstrating consequences. Not grounding, nothing like that. January is when you starting applying to colleges and she was wanting to graduate early. We are going to discuss how her plans are going to work with the consequences of her new grades.

New Blog Feature

So I discovered that I can add permanent web links on my blog. The first two I added are Ancestory.com where I spend much of my spare time researching family history and I wanna download. I just found this site but I can tell I really like it. I don't like video/cd piracy but I also don't want to pay full price when I don't get the cd/dvd, box, liner notes and all the cool packaging. Tada - www.iwannadownload.com, has a monthly price for unlimited downloads. Works for me.

Thanksgiving Vacation

For Thanksgiving this year we traveled to Arkansas to visit family. All of my Dads side of the family is in Batesville & Cave City and the surrounding areas. On the way there and back we stopped to visit friends of Aarons that he grew up with and are like family to him. We had fun. We visited family, laughed and talked and fished. We took a time out from the world and it didn't stop turning.

My cousin Mariassa is a new mommy, my cousin Beckys daughter Emily is following in her Mommys footsteps and could ride a horse before she could walk. Greg is doing good, Teresas is thrilled with her first grandaughter. Grandma, Imo, and Brenda are all doing great.

Everyone was friendly with Aaron and hopefully it will all get better.

Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas...the Holidays are in full swing.

Watching Her Grow Up

The journey of parenthood is amazing, on April Fools Day 1992 Tryn Leigh was born.

When she was a newborn, I can't really say little because no 8lb 15 oz baby is "little", she was everything I dreamed of.

By 1 she was already walking and talking

At 2 she tried to climb a tree taller than the house and got stuck

At 3 she tried to quiz me on double multipaction tables (mom, what is 2x2, 3x3, 4x4....)

I homeschooled her for preschool and recieved one of my most precious memories - teaching my daughter to read (Mom, that is a word, it says CAT!)

I cried when I left her in Kindergarden, and every report card from k-6 stated she is a "social butterfly".

We worked our way though elememtry school, finding multi age classrooms to keep her challenged and finally acceptance in GT programs.

She coped with our divorce and new siblings, she didn't learn to ride a bike until she was 10 because she kept getting mad at the bike and kicking it when she fell.

We survived ages 11-13 where she hated me and and started High School, where she experimented with going by her middle name the first year. She proudly announced in middle school and even in the beginning of highschool that she would never change her name for a guy, that she would never have biological children because she wanted to adopt.

Then she fell in love with Aaron. Sudden having kids seemed like a good idea in 5 or 6 years...they were at the store and he swiped his Safeway card and after they paid the bill the clerk handed her the bag and called her by his last name...that made her happy, she wants to see if it happens again. While he was in Florida he would also address letter to her using his last name - same reaction.

She is still growing and changing - now I am watching her learn even more about relationships and compromise. My only child is finally learning to share more too.

I can't wait to see what changes the next years bring.

Cars and Tires and Oh My

I was trying to drive to work this morning, and I knew I had to stop and put air in the tire- but I really thought I would make it to the gas station. No such luck. The piece of good luck? I wasn't that far from the house when the tire blew. I was in control of the car, and the very nice gentleman who picked me up hiking up the hill to the house and gave me a ride back home. Also to Vanessa's family for the ride back to the car.

Aaron got my doughnut put on and that should hold me over til tomorrow. Thank you to Brad for the ride, thank you to Vanessa family for the ride back to the car, thank you to Aaron for fixing the tire, thank you God for us not getting hurt during our adventure.

President Obama?

The news teams are going nuts -- they have been waiting for this. The west coast hasn't even been counted, they are declaring states that haven't even reported at 50% yet... How is this right, fair or balanced reporting. When I can locate the popular vote it is by no means a "landslide".

We will see what happens.

I Don't Like Mondays

Granted - its Tuesday but the sentament applies. Tryn has brochitis, I am sick, Aaron is getting sick. Aaron got a speeding ticket today and was late to training so won't start work til Friday now.
Phone is off till Friday too.

This week bites. Can I have a new week now?

New Family Member- Meet Rugrat

Well, we finally took the plung again, granted the kids took the plung. I was dragging fee. We have a new kitten. She belongs to Aaron and Tryn. Yes I did agree, it just wasn't my idea. I miss having a cat or dog around, I just wasn't willing to do anything about it - Aaron was.

She is a cute little 2 month old fuzz ball who in the 2 days we've had her has changed names. She started life with us as Trilina - and is now Rugrat. Again - pictures as soon as they are developed.

Homecoming Dance

Last night was Homecoming, and from all accounts Tryn and Aaron had fun. They arrived fashionably late, enjoyed much dancing and very little drama. Went to see Aarons parents after the dance and went out to breakfast. They arrived home at 1am after which Aaron won a DVD on the radio :)

You are not alone

First, if anyone is reading this I apologize for the long pause. Its been a rough patch. Especially the last month has been a roller coaster of highs and lows. Worrying about Aaron-not knowing when the military would finally let him come home. (Resolved happily on October 5 when we picked him up at the Colorado Springs bus terminal), a brief dip into the dating world with a questionable ending. My niece and my father were both baptized into the LDS church.
After my Dads baptism was the priesthood conference and since we were there, we stayed. God has never been shy about reminding me when I need to know something. And He reminded me during the Conference that I am not alone and that I don't need to do everything or anything by myself. Something that is wise to remember and never forget.

Tired...so Tired

I'm just tired today, tomorrow is my Friday, there are only 3 weeks left in this Semester. I'm trying to get the house straightened around, I'm trying to get the finaces straightened around. So much stress. I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel - promise me its not a train okay?

A Toe into the Dating World

Okay, so to some people this may seem like a small step, but to me this is huge. I've started chatting with a man that I met on Tagged and responding to posts from another guy on Tagged/MySpace. It is a toe into the dating pool. I know others do this all the time and think nothing of it, but for me - yeah, not so much. Maybe I can make my way out into the dating world!

This is such a odd step for me, Mark and I have been seperated/divorced since what 2002. I have been so focused on Tryn and school, mostly Tryn. Well Tryn is getting her own life and as much as I love her, I know she won't be living at home forever. I need my life too. I'm tired of being lonely. I need to start working my way back out into the world.

Scrapblog-A Few of My Favorite Things

As the title says - A Few of My Favorite Things

New Family

This weekend we added a new member to our family when Justin and Crystal were married on Aug 16,2008. It was a beautiful outdoor ceremony marred only by rain on the reception. We moved the reception to Crystals Moms house and proceeded from there. Erick was the best man and Dad and Brian stood up with them. Dominic was the ring bearer. This was the first time I had met Crystal and I also got to meet Ericks wife Natasha, her son Antonio and their son Vincent. Parker was unable to attend due to ongoing issues with Parkers mom.

Our family keeps on growing, good luck to Justin and Crystal!

Sad and Happy

So if anybody is reading this you may have noticed the only blog link on my dashboard is called the Grahams. That is a link to the blog kept by my daughters sister Adopted Mother. They just spent a few weeks at a family reunion and one of the pictures managed to include my daughters brother Alex. I love keeping up with the Grahams, partly because Tryn never got to meet her sister and this way we know how she is doing. On the other hand with her brothers Zeke and Alex their new families don't blog so this is the first time I've seen a picture of Alex in almost 2 years. I recognized him, but I wasn't quite sure so I got his Daddy on the phone and to the site to double check. I wish they had a picture of Zeke too.

Scrapblog-Tryn and Aaron

Playing with the a new site www.scrapblog.com It won't replace my Creative Memories software but I can link it to my blog and export as .jpg!
I really like this layout of Tryn and Aaron.

Motivation

I'm finding it hard to stay motivated this semester, could be the classes I'm in (pre algebra and economics) could be so much stuff going on at home. Oh well, buckle down and keep going, next semester I actually get to do computer stuff! Yeah!!

A new Adventure

And we are off and Driving....Tryn has a learner permit and we are learning to drive a manuel transmission. She will also do drivers ed but Mom has to have money for that first, so we are doing it the "old fashioned way" Mom in the passenger seat and daughter behind the wheel.

Wish us luck!

Growing up fast

I took Tryn to a job interview today and she got the job! I can't believe how fast she is growing up. I know- shes engaged, but the wedding isn't until after highschool, the job is now. Makes sense right?

We also got her registered for her Junior year today and she has 3 collage classes this year- way to go Tryn!

Aaron, Tryn and School starting

Aaron had to go back to Florida to wrap up some stuff with the Navy and it looks like it could be anywhere from 2 1/2 weeks to 50 days before he gets to come home. Gotta love the military, really. We will know more in the next few days.

Tryn registars for school tomorrow and gets her laptop back-I can't believe she will be a Junior, makes me feel old, like her being engaged didn't? Her being back in school brings more structure in, it is hard to keep that going during the summer for me.

Still no word on the job yet.

Family

What is it about holiday that makes family arguements worse? Especially when only one member is really fighting? Everyone else is trying to get along...I don't get it-and I'm not sure I want to.

On a happier note - I took Tryn and Aaron to get their picts done - wow they turned out great! As soon as I get them scanned I'll share them.

Tryn and Aaron 2008

Aaron is home

Things didn't go so well with the Navy, Aaron is home, and he is living with us, and I am okay with that. I am actually more than okay with that. I am so tired of other people defining my life and making judgements on me. Tryn and Aaron living together is okay with me - anyone who disagrees can go take a running leap.

Engaged

An amazing thing happened while we were in Florida enjoying our trip...on the last day there Aaron proposed to Tryn! I am so excited and happy for them, of course they aren't getting married until Tryn graduated HS so we are looking at over a two year engagement...but thats okay. Part of me wishes Aaron had waited to ask until the engagement could have been a bit shorter-but you know, its okay.

They are happy, Aaron already feels like family, its all good.

Vacation

Tryn and I are spending Memorial Weekend in Pensacola, FL courtousy of her boyfriend Aaron! I can't remember the last time we have every taken a non-family vacation trip. Aaron is in FL with the Navy and is paying for the whole trip. I'm excited and nervous...

So why blog/thoughts on parenting

Why create a blog? I've tried it before and it didn't really work. Oh the site was fine, I just didn't post much. I think part of the reason is that I feel like I'm coming to a crossroad in my life. I'm 36, and have hit that age where, well, I never remember thinking I knew everything, but at least I thought I knew something. I think a big part of this feeling is Tryn. She is 16 now, and in a few short years she will be an "adult" I keep on keeping trying to make sure she knows what she needs to know about life, but at the same time I know a big part of what I need to do now is let her take those short experimental flights, and not try and catch her when she fall unless there is trauma involved. She needs to be able to make mistakes and correct them and learn to recognized them to avoid them again. Oh, Mom is still the safety net, but for now the net is a bit further away, because the "real world" has no safety net.
Walking that fine line, helping but pulling back has me thinking about where my life will be when she flys the nest. I've seen parents who can't seem to let go enough and are still trying to run their kids lives, its like they just moved their kids bedrooms to an apartment. That is so not healthy. The last 16 years have been wrapped up in Tryn and guiding her toward being a healthy adult, and now that we are getting close, I feel like I wonder -did I remember me too? Pretty soon it will be time for me again and while I've been going back to school- and doing stuff like that, suddenly my life will be much more about me. Because to me, the rules change when the kid turns 18, even if they are living at home. call me if you aren't coming home, you are still responsible for not destroying the house. But no more I need to know where you are every minute stuff.

Am I ready? Is she ready? We'll find out. So why blog? To keep people who care or don't care caught up, and to have a way to sort out some of this in my head - without looking crazy.

My Fav Photos

Zeke, Alex, Shannon, Eowyn 2006

So these are photos of my daughter, my nieces, my nephews and my daughters brothers and sisters. These children encompass a huge portion of my life even though I don't see them nearly enough. Except for Tryn, my daughter the closest kids live 1 1/2 away. However I still think about them all regularly, even if I'm not very good at showing it.

Antonio, Vincent, Parker 2008

On thing I wish I could change about myself...I don't think I show the people I care about how much I care often enough.

Dominic, Annabel, Eagan and Fletcher - October 2006