Christmas Party with my Sweetie

Comcast Christmas Party
On December 11 Comcast in Colorado Springs held its Holiday (read Christmas) party, for the first time since I have been employed there my guest was not related to me. Although I have enjoyed taking family members this time I got to take my fiance Glenn.

This is the two of us - and the wedding isn't planned until we finish college in 1212... Merry Christmas everyone!

I Am Thankful....

I am thankful for my family. My parents, my brothers, my daughter, my son-in-law, Grandparent, aunts, uncles and cousins. Family is so important and often we forget to thank them in the rush of day to day life.

I am thankful to God for watching over us and guiding our lives, even when we are confused on the direction we are supposed to be going.

and of course I am thankful for Glenn, for patience and support, for love and understanding. I'm no picnic sometimes, but he loves me anyway.

Rae Ann

Boondock Saints II - All Saints Day Official Trailer

Are you ready for this!! I am!

the Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta

The Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta

From the age of 10-19 I lived in Albuquerque, so I pretty much grew up with this as a natural part of life. Then we moved to Springer, Raton and finally to Colorado. I miss the Balloons. To be sure Colorado Springs hosts the Balloon Classic, but it doesn't feel the same and there are not nearly as many balloons. This year I took the opportunity to bring Tryn and Aaron down with me and experience the Fiesta.

Tomorrow morning brings more Balloon, the Car Show, lunch with all three of my brothers at the same time and the drive home.

The Cost of Raising A Child - Sancira's MySpace Blog | My Rambling Blog

I found this on MySpace..and had to share it
The Cost of Raising A Child - Sancira's MySpace Blog | My Rambling Blog

Shared via AddThis

I Believe

No, I'm not declaring for a Pagan or Wiccan path, however the above image does pull to me though, I really like it allot. Beliefs are a very personal topic and can change over time, I remember being sure that one way was the only way. As I have gotten older I have come to many realizations at the ripe old age of 37...

I believe that you have the right to believe whatever you want. I might even want to talk to you about it and debate ideas with you. However please don't shove your beliefs down my throat.

I believe absolutely in a higher power. I know He is there, I personally choose to call Him God, sometimes I call Him Heavenly Father. You may call Him Allah, Deity or whatever you want, He is big enough to embrace all names, in the bible He called Himself IAM.

I believe in the power of energy. I have seen and felt it. I have seen amazing things happen using energy manipulation and energy comes from the earth and the universe both of which were created by God.

I believe that meditation in any form is another form of prayer.

I believe in reincarnation...but realistically...come on, we all weren't Ramses or Cleopatra. I do believe that we keep meeting up with the same souls til we get it right.

I believe that we are all connected and that the Butterfly Effect is real. What we do effects others - in that light, personal responsibility is one of the most important traits a person can possess.

I believe in Angels and Demons, and that there are other worlds, some right under our noses and just out of our sight.

I believe that any step along the path of faith is a good one - no one has all the answers, no one knows the mind of God, and that we are here to learn and grow.

I believe that Jesus Christ lived and that He was the son of God. I believe that He performed miracles and rose from the dead.

I believe that Joseph Smith saw God and received His message - that he was Gods prophet in the latter days.

I believe that the Bible is the word of God.

I believe God knows His children, and like any Father finds the best way to speak to them so that they will understand. His messages are everywhere if you listen.

No matter what your religion or lack of religion, I believe you have a right to your beliefs.

Drama Llamas and Angry Beavers

The above title is courtesy of my daughter.

Last night D&D became a bit of a drama/emotional session as feelings and emotions surfaced. One of those emotions was the feeling that my daughter was under the impression that I told her she was too opinionated. I have no idea how she got that impression from what I actually said.

I am glad she has opinions, ideas, and beliefs. I encourage this and what her to explore them. We should all be exploring and challenging our own ideas every chance we get. Remember - challenging does not necessarily mean changing. But if someone asks you why you believe what you do "Just because" isn't a great answer.

It thrills me to no end that Tryn is so enthusiastic about life. I love her passion and her excitement and wouldn't change it for the world.

I am a parent however and as a parent my job is to teach my child (yes I know she is 17, I'm still her parent) and to help her be a better person and adult. There are 3 topics that one must be careful when debating usually - politics, religions and honestly I can't remember the third one. But when debating these it is so important to make sure that the other people know that you respect their view points. A few times when I have heard Tryn discuss religion - I love the fact that she is passionate about her religion but the respect for other religions doesn't always translate. I asked to to be aware of that fact.

Conversational skills is a developed art. Some people are born verbal story tellers - I am not one of them. The second thing I mentioned to her was that a good skill to have is to know when to invite other people to tell their part of the story. I have seen this in practice many times, when a speaker comes to part of the story he/she is telling that involves someone else who is in the room they will often turn to that person and invite them to tell that part of the story. It is a polite thing, a respectful thing and keeps everyone in the conversation.

Somehow all this exploded tonight on an entirely different subject to where Tryn thinks that I think she is opinionated and she thinks she won't be a good teacher. I think she will be a great teacher. She has the passion and the desire - the two items I mentioned to her are things that if she chooses to implement will make her life easier, but are not necessarily life changing events, they are more social skills. The things a parent tries to pass on to help their children and make their life easier.

Update:

After everyone calmed down, Tryn seems to have regained her self confidence. :)

Aaron and Zebadiah

Zebadiah - Uncle Dave's Guitar

David Baker was and is Aaron's Uncle. He is Aarons Mom's Brother. From the time Aaron was little Dave took an interest in him and when Aaron was 8 began to teach him to play the guitar. For Dave the guitar was a passion and a pleasure, not something he earned money with. They had just begun learning when David was killed in a car wreak coming home from work one morning. In his will he left several things to Aaron. His motorcycle and his guitar were two of them. Aaron was told he could have neither until he was 18. The motorcycle was sold, but on this trip to Missouri Aaron was finally able to get the guitar.

David and one of his guitars

Aaron and Zebadiah, the guitar David left him.

Tombstone

Tombstone

The day that we went to Center Grove Cemetery in Charlotte things were going normally. It was just Dad, DJ and I. I was taking pictures of family headstones and trying to remember everything. When we heard a meow. Now understand that my dad is very allergic to cats, he doesn't hate them or anything. Just very allergic. Yet here is this tiny black kitten that is obviously starving. We can see a few other kittens that don't want anything to do with us.

The kitten is following us and even gets into my pictures. (I meant to keep that picture but I think I accidentally edited him when I focused on the headstone in the crop.)

My dad decided to save the kitty. I'm not cold hearted, I just couldn't figure it out right then how to do this. We took the kitten back to Imogene's and I had Tryn get the kitten out of Grandmas Truck without knowing what she was doing. Of course the second she saw the kitten it was over. Aaron and Tryn have figured out how to pay for vet care and Tombstone joined the family.

Random Vacation Pictures

Playing D & D and Discussing Wicca....

Adding a new family member. Meet Tombstone.

Full post on Tombstone tomorrow.

Full post on Aarons guitar coming.

Vacation Part 2

Arkansas

This is my Aunt Imogene with Alissa.













This is my Aunt Brenda and my cousin Alissa at Batesville River walk where we went for a picnic.

Arkansas is....

Spending time with family and friends.

Cooking that seems more difficult to produce at home.

Time to sit back and relax and enjoy life.

Visiting family cemeteries and trying to absorb more family history.

Watermelons that don't taste the same anywhere else.

Fishing.


Aaron's Fish that Started it All

Tryn learning on a fly fish reel

So Grandma, Dad, Brenda, Aaron, Tryn, Emily and I went fishing. Grandma watched and the rest of us fished. See that fish Aaron has? It helped start a ruckus. Aaron went to put the fish on the stringer to be part of that nights dinner and after it was on the stringer, and before he had the stringer secured back to the bank the fish jumped and tried to take off...well more than tried. The stringer pullled out of Aarons hand and about 10 fish were gone. Aaron stood there stunned for a moment and then went after them to no avail.

We caught more fish - including some that had been on the stringer..and had a great dinner of fish, cornbread and shelly beans.

On Vacation

Stop #1 - Missouri

Step 1: Drive to Missouri

Step 2: Find Anthony's house without getting lost too many times

Step 3: Fight your way to the stove for his Spaghetti...

Just kidding-although Anthony does make awesome spaghetti. What you are seeing here is Aaron and Anthony sparring and Gentry noticing the matching tattoos. What you are not seeing is that during the sparring match in the middle of the kitchen Anthony is also teaching Jeremy how to make said spaghetti.

See?? Told you they had matching tattoos...what still don't see it? Look close. All three tattoos say No Fear. From left to right, Aaron, Gentry, Anthony.

When we first arrived Anthony had to go to work and Aaron went with him to hang out. So what did the girls do? Go to the beach of course.

We had fun and got sunburned...more updates from our vacation are coming...including exciting news.

A Day at Elitch Gardens

On Friday the 17th my friend Donna took me, Tryn, and Aaron to Elitch Gardens in Denver, CO. We made the classic (but fun) mistake of saying "its hot, lets do the water park first. After 5 hours of water slides, lagoons, and tide pools. Including "The Edge" (thinks skate ramp for water), we were wiped out. We ate lunch, tried a few rides and got low grade sunstroke.

After Elitchs we drove back to Colorado Springs in time to have dinner at Jose Muldoons and be entertained by Brandon the Magician.

Mom

Don't get me wrong. Let me start by saying that I appreciate my mom, she has done allot for me and she has accomplished allot in her life. This is not a bashing I hate you post.

This is a I don't understand what is going on here post.

Dear Mom,

You came home from Las Vegas this week, and I didn't know you were coming home - I thought you were coming next month. The first time I saw you this week was my first day off all week and you were disappointed in my house being a disaster and you were incredibly rude to my son in law when he asked you a question. In our own house. The next day we chatted for a few minutes and then I get a phone call asking I got a message when I say no you say too bad and hung up. You yelled at Tryn to take out the trash when you could have just asked her. Then you called and again, thank you for the meds, but I have no idea what message you are talking about and neither did anyone else.



Are you mad because we didn't spend more time together this week? I wish you had called and just asked what my schedule was - its pretty crazy, you arrived on the first day off of my week. I cleaned house and did laundry the next day then went back to work Saturday-Wednesday. I have school 5-11pm on Monday and Wednesday. If we had known you were coming home we could have tried to arrange something.



I don't understand what you have against Tryn and Aaron...I don't understand why you seem so angry.



Love,



Rae Ann

Our 4th of July

We had alot of plans for 4th of July this year. Being in Arkansas, being in Missouri and blowing up lots of fireworks, seeing family and friends and having fun. Well, the 4th of July trip is happening the 22nd so we had to revamp the 4th of July plans. It still includes family and friends and fun... we had hamburger, hotdogs and corn on the the grill. Smores for dessert.

Jake, Cody, Autumn, Beth and Elaine came by. (Yes the rest of this crew lives here!)

We finished the night with a few fireworks out of the city limits..

Happy Birthday America!

Andrew, Danny, and Aaron competing in pullups.....

Blogger/Life Envy...

So is it possible to have blogger envy? I know anything is possible - let me describe what I mean. Even though I spend all day on the computer my actual "surfing" time is fairly limited. So once I figured out what Google Reader did I became a huge fan. Now my favorite blogs and I Can Haz Cheezburger come to me! Through other blogs I peak into peoples worlds. It started with remote family and I stumbled on Nie Nie and her family and through my own interests scrapbooks and food sites for cooking, D&D sites and others.

I enjoy these tastes of others worlds and especially in NieNies case I am inspired by them. But a small part of me goes.. "I want". I want my cakes to look like that. I want to be able to pull of those fun clothes. I want my pages to look like that.



The I Want envy demon at it again. Not all I want is bad because it inspires you to try new things and try harder to do things (like making that cake the way I want or cool new pages). The problem comes in if it makes you truly dissatisfied with a good life (see Jon and Kate plus 8!)

The reality is that while there are things that I want to improve about my life - I am working on those. There are things I want to do and the I wants give me idea, but I am happy to live my life and I don't want other peoples lives.

Picture Day

I took Tryn and Aaron to get pictures taken and we got family pictures done also. Tryn and I hadn't had pictures done together in 2 years. These were Tryn and Aaron's engagement photos they haven't picked the final shot yet but when they do we will start on announcements.

I find it wonderful that Sears now lets you by the photo disk, and I was very impressed with the colleges the photographer put together.

Homemade Pizza

In the Age of Convenience you forget how good homemade really is...homemade burgers vs fast food, homemade dinner vs. takeout, handmade cards vs a box of store cards. One that's pretty tricky and not done my many people I know is homemade pizza. My brother does it, but he's the only one I know. Well, last night I was trying to figure out what to make and Aaron said he was making dinner. Ingredients were gathered, dough was made and at the Aaron was crowned official pizza maker in the house.

Tryn is 17

Yes, Tryn is my April Fools Baby and she loves it. So 17 years ago today I was laying in a hospital bed contemplating my beautiful baby girl. I always wanted a little girl. And Tryn has turned out to be everything I could have dreamed. I can barely imagine that I am the one that was given the task of guiding her to adulthood and at 17 we are almost there. I'm not perfect and I've messed some things up, but over all I think we've done pretty good.

Tryn has a pretty good head on her shoulders, she has plans for her future, things that she is passionate about in life, and a sweetheart of a guy that she is in love with and loves her. Pretty good for 17 I would say.

Happy Birthday Tryn Leigh.

Adventures in Plumbing

It started innocently enough-a small puddle of water on the floor. Did something spill? Wipe it up. The puddle came back. Uh-ho. Squeeze in tracking down water into the schedule. I notice that the sound of the water in the pipes is awful loud. Have I mentioned that my plumbing skills are limited to plunging and theoretical knowledge? Now its 2 weeks later and I we are moving shelves (I'm directing and Aaron is moving) and I notice that the carpet in the office is wet. This can't be good. I look at the pipes again (no flashlight) still not seeing anything. Finally call my brother and with a flashlight he sees a break in the pipe in back corner. If I had a flashlight I could have seen it too. Brian fixes the pipe, and snakes the drains. Bathroom working and draining but the kitchen isn't draining still. Leaves me the snake. Aaron and I start to work. 2 weeks and entirely dismantling the underneath of the kitchen pipes and restoring, hijacking Chris and Anthony for additional hands (thanks again guys! I owe you dinner as soon as my dishes are clean again) we freed two clogs in the bottom right hand pipe of the lower end.

Ran more Drano and have since run 4 loads of dishes without a snag...hey only 5 more to go!



Also found a new problem in the mix...small incoming leak at the washer/nut combo...called Mike and heading for a fix on Friday.

Having Fun Juggalo Style

Tryn and Aarons friend Auzzy came over one day and did face paint for them- they are all fans of the band Insane Clown Posse (ICP). ICP fans are Juggalos and Juggalettes.... make up and posing with sharp objects insued.

Wicked Clowns... ;)

Updated Christmas Post and Here's Valentines

Valentines Day was sweet, Aaron got Tryn roses and candy. Tryn got Aaron candy. I got them both necklaces.

Thoughts on Frost

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Robert Frost

I have always liked Robert Frost, many of his poems strike a chord in me, I scrapbooked “Acquainted with the Night” in my high school album.
As I’ve gotten older I like this one more and more, the importance of doing what you think is right, of making your own decisions, and of not just taking the easy way cannot be stressed enough. Here’s to taking the road less traveled.

Alex and Molly

On January 27th my daughters brother Alex was officially adopted into the family that he has been staying with since December 2004. This follows the adoption of Molly 2 years ago. Please don't misunderstand me - this is a wonderful thing not only for Alex and Molly and for their families. So what am I trying to say? Have you ever been happy and furious at the same time? Well, maybe furious is the wrong word. I'm really not sure how to express this second emotion. Its an emotion that comes up allot whenever I really think about this situation.

My part in this situation is both peripheral and very involved. My daughter Tryn has 2 brothers and a sister from her fathers second marriage. Zeke, Alex and Eowyn. A few months after Eowyn was born in 2004 the situation dictated that they all went to live with different relatives of their moms. Their mom and dad separated and in 2007 Eowyn was adopted by the Graham family and became Molly Elizabeth Eowyn Graham. A few days ago Alex was adopted by the Hadfields. I understand this - I'm not arguing it. I'm even thrilled for Alex. What stuns me, what amazes me is their father. I talk to their mom occasionally and she tells me how she talks to Zeke and Alex on the phone. I'm not sure how much contact she has with Molly. And of course she has contact with her oldest daughter Shannon from her first marriage.

But Mark, our ex...if he almost never calls our daughter who he lived with for the longest of all the children (10 years) what hope is that he has made any attempt to keep contact with the other kids? That attitude makes me angry and sad and furious and frustrated. I don't want him interfering with their lives but to let the kids drop out of his life? If someone tried to take Tryn from me - it would be war. If health requirements meant she needed to live somewhere else for awhile, I would be writing and calling all the time. I imagine that very soon Zeke will be joining his new family (just a guess) and I wonder how Mark will react to that. Every time he has gotten notice he has called or written me and raged about how he is going to fight it...but never does.

And that is best. The kids are best off where they are with the families they are with, but I wish he would have contacted them and just requested to be kept up on how his children are doing. Send them a birthday present and Christmas present. To me, even if the court says he isn't legally responsible for 2 of his four children anymore, that doesn't disregard a moral or emotional responsibility.

On emotional responsibility - explaining this to my daughter is so hard. She doesn't understand why her dad is "letting the kids go" and she feels like she is loosing her siblings. This is such a hard topic to explain to a 16 year old. Because the kids are so young it is hard for them to remember her and the oldest Zeke who might actually remember her is the farthest away. I want to try and arrange for her to see Molly and Alex this summer now that they will be in the same city - she has never even met Molly, but I have to get this okay ed with their new families first.

I wonder if I'm projecting emotions onto Mark - but another part says no - a responsible parent keeps some kind of contact. Even if Mark only sent birthday cards and Christmas cards its something to tell the child "I remember you".

I'm angry at Mark because it feels to me like he is ignoring his children. I don't understand this attitude. I'm happy that they have family that loves them, and is taking them in and welcoming them. Molly and Alex seem very happy with them and I am so grateful for that.

I remember Zeke, from the time he was born I saw him nearly every day until Mark and Liby moved to Albuquerque. I wonder how he is doing now, he was such a happy baby I imagine him as a friendly outgoing little boy now.

I remember Alex and how scared we were for him when he was born. I was at the hospital nearly every day visiting them. He was always so little, and was still a baby when they moved. The pictures I see now - its amazing, he has Libys hair and eyes and Marks face and build. He seems happy and that's all I can ask.

I never met Eowyn - I watch her grow in pictures. In the reports of her "screaming" I hear echos of Tryns temper. In the comments I see hints of an amazing and independent girl. I remember Tryn at that age, also fiercely independent. I know Molly is her own person, without a doubt. However without meeting her I see her in pictures and through her mothers eyes. I also see her through the prism of her two sisters Shannon and Tryn.

Tryn

Zeke

Alex

Molly

Thoughts on "The Change"

Today is January 20, 2009 and in less than 1/2 hour from now the Inauguration ceremony for President Obama will begin. To be honest, I didn't vote for him, I disagree with most of his politics. But you know what? That doesn't matter now. What matters is that he is our President and we need to stand behind him as a nation, move forward and work together. I wish we had done much more of that when President Bush was in office. If we all stood together more, we would have less of a mess to deal with. What happened to the lessons from 9/11? United We Stand? Have we forgotten that key lesson?
Good luck President Obama.